Beliefs are thoughts that we think over and over again. And I want to take opportunities to encourage positive, empowering, grounding beliefs for my three year old. I cannot truly make her believe anything, however, I can introduce her to thoughts. Thoughts that will serve her and encourage her to be the self-respecting, kind, secure, young lady (and hopefully adult someday) that I want her to be.
Vulnerable moment here: I truly fear the day she goes to school and someone says something unkind to her about her. Even more than that, I fear she may believe it.
I cannot control any of this. What I can control is what is spoken over her in this household and what I will encourage her to repeat back to me. Hopefully in all of this speaking, it will grow deep roots down in her heart.
First, prior to sharing what affirmations we share, I want to share when we do it. It is super simple. We say them during mealtimes and periodically in the car. I share this because I do not want anyone to overcomplicate it and forsake the benefits of doing this practice. It really can be that simple.
Now, onto the affirmations we use:
My family loves me a lot.
This affirmation promotes security. No matter what happens "out there" I want her to know she is safe and dearly loved here. I know there are children and teens who feel safer, more-secure "out there" but my hope is if you are reading this blog, that is evidence enough that this will never be said about your kids because you care, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this blog in the first place.
I have many friends and people like me.
This affirmation attempts to set her up for success "out there", because at the end of the day, she will need to have rewarding relationships apart from her family.
Generally, when it comes to most people, if you like them, they will like you. What would be a top cause for us not to like another person? Assuming they don't like us.
I am attempting to set her up for success by teaching her to assume others DO like her, and she therefore can like them, which in turn creates friends.
I can learn anything I want to.
From someone who had to learn to have a growth mindset as an adult, I am hoping my daughter can develop one much earlier than I did.
For a quick definition of growth mindset:
"Someone with a growth mindset views intelligence, abilities, and talents as learnable and capable of improvement through effort."
I want her to feel confident she can improve in any area that she would want to with effort and learning. It is not hard to find different areas in her life where she does not want to continue something because she feels "no good". There were tears just this week because she couldn't line up cards straight enough. However, as much as it depends on me, I want growth, effort, and perseverance spoken over her in our house.
I am helpful and I am kind.
There is not a hugely deep motivation behind these affirmations other than these are actually true of her, and I want her to know it. I want her to feel good about the positive impact she has on others.
God loves me and hears my prayers.
She is adorable when she prays. Let me just say that.
Our family is the roots of faith for her. I feel the personal responsibility to introduce her to God and faith. It isn't the church's job, or anyone else's. It is mine and my husband's.
I want her to know God loves us, and one of the expressions of that is hearing our prayers.
This year in her life, we have really worked to begin to build a foundation of faith and biblical knowledge in her and I cannot wait to see how that blossoms.
There could be an endless amount of affirmations that you could use with your preschoolers or children that would be good and life-giving. While, you may choose to be strategic in the affirmations you choose, reflecting on truths you want your child to depart your home knowing. The big goal here is not to create such an exhaustive list that it becomes overwhelming. Speaking good, encouraging, loving, inspiring, positive words over our children IS IMPORTANT. But creating a habit of speaking affirmations over them, and, in turn them speaking them over themselves, is so important that it must be doable. Keep it simple. Start small. You can always change them. Teaching your kids to speak kindly to themselves is so important. If we aren't passing on these messages, others will. While some will be good, others will prey on them not feeling good enough.
I hope you take some time to consider what affirmations you want to speak over your child and have them repeat. What messages may they need to do well in this world? What messages will they need to be strong in this world? What messages will they need to feel loved in this world?
It is all important.
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