You used to do things. You used to see people, but now, your general contribution to a conversation is a new nap schedule you’re trying or how long it has been since your baby’s last bowel movement… or is that just me?
You feel glued to the house and not many new and exciting things happen within those four walls. You can’t pursue hobbies. You don’t go out much due to bedtime and nap schedules or it feels much more complicated than it would be worth if you just stayed at home.
When you actually see people, you feel as though you don’t have many interesting things to say or funny stories to share, or it feels as if you have nothing new going on.
Momma, I want to encourage you.
First, remember why you started.
If I had to guess, you didn’t become a stay-at-home-mom to make yourself interesting. You became a stay-at-home-mom because you believed somehow it would benefit your little kiddo. Focus on your PURPOSE for choosing to stay home. Purpose is important for a life-well-lived AND purpose always requires sacrifice for something greater than ourselves. It is beautiful that you are sacrificing for your little one. So, be encouraged, you are doing a wonderful thing.
Second, get out of the house if you can, especially with other mommas.
Other mommas will get you. They will get the nap-schedule talk. They will probably be very interested, especially if you found something that is working. They will understand your ups and your downs. You will not be boring to them.
I know I resist getting out because I always imagine it will be worse than it will be. I picture a fussy little baby who I cannot get to settle down or a WAY too complicated pumping schedule (as an exclusive pumping momma over here). It is rarely ever as bad as I imagine. Plus, I never take into consideration the internal wisdom that I have as a momma to know what to do in the moment. As an enneagram six, I tend to doubt that I will know how to handle the situations that arise.
Maybe this is you as well. It is possible that you imagine what will go wrong, the complications that make you want to stay home, BUT sometimes the good just outweighs the bad. Sometimes you will have a fussy baby or a baby that is irritated that you are pumping while she is awake, but usually, it is still worth it. Community is more valuable than a perfectly content baby. Variety is important and life-giving, and worth what you will have to sacrifice by leaving your predictable bubble of home.
Third, your personality is what makes you interesting, more than what you say or do (at least to me).
You may hear an interesting story, but more times than not, our fascination is with the story-teller, not the story. I think the same story could be told by two different people, yet we find it more fascinating when one tells it over the other. Why? We connect with a person’s personality. We have kindred-ness or affinity with them. We appreciate their point-of-view, their details, and their charisma over the other’s. Your personality, what makes you truly interesting to one person and not another, cannot be lost.
We do not lose our personality because we don’t have a job or cannot go out much or do not have a million new hobbies we are trying. Who you are is what connects you with people, not what you do.
We do not lose our personality because we don’t have a job or cannot go out much or do not have a million new hobbies we are trying. Who you are is what connects you with people, not what you do.
With all this, my challenge: Get to know yourself momma, if you don’t already. Sometimes I challenge people to describe themselves in 100 different ways. When they first hear this, it seems difficult, but it is actually quite easy. Maybe you need to do this exercise for yourself, to remember you are more than pumping schedules and naptime. You are an interesting person and you must understand your value.
I am kinda minimalist.
I am an enneagram six.
I love wholesome television.
I am introspective.
I love to shop.
The list could go on and on.
Anyways, don’t be hard on yourself. You are beautiful, and wonderful, and what you’re doing is a hard, important thing. It is not glamorous, or always seen, but it is significant. When you’re tempted to feel boring or unimportant, remember, who you are can never be stolen from you. Keep your eyes focused on your purpose for the enemy of your soul wants to steal it from you.
Fight on. Rooting for you.
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